How to Handle the Holidays If Youre Naturally a Scrooge
Andy Williams has always considered Christmas to be the "most wonderful time of the year," but for many of us, it’s actually the most stressful. The holiday season is a time when it's easy to feel overloaded with social obligations, financial pressures and the general expectation to be jollier than usual. With December 25 quickly approaching, some of us will relate more to Scrooge than Santa Claus, turning the holidays into an anxiety-inducing marathon with no end in sight.
Jack Duddy, a Behavioural Strategist at Ogilvy Consulting's Behavioural Science Practice, says there's good and bad news for Scrooges when it comes to festive trends.
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"I believe that in years to come Christmas will become more low-key in terms of a reduction in gift-giving," he predicts. "But I also believe that in keeping with the trend of people moving towards gaining experiences rather than material possessions, social obligations will continue to be a key aspect.”
Essentially, people are likely to prioritize spending time with family and friends during the holidays to an even greater extent than they do now.
With this in mind, here's a guide to navigating the holidays even if you find the whole shebang more gut-churning than heartwarming.
Tips on Coping with the Holiday Season
1. Learn How to Say No
The festive treadmill of family gatherings, office parties and happy hours with friends can test your mental health as much as it challenges your liver. Duddy recommends being “tactical” with the events you attend, as well as those you politely decline.
“You can’t be there at every single social event,” he says. “[And] if you try to be, you may find you become more over-tired and stress yourself out even more.”
2. Try to Drink a Little Less
This might seem like a buzzkill, but it makes a lot of sense. Duddy says that so-called “hang-xiety” is a real thing which can “stress you out even more for the next day or two” after a heavy night.
Drinking in moderation is also a surefire way to make sure you leave a holiday party before it gets too late – and while you’re stuck on the festive treadmill, you’ll need as much sleep as you can get.
3. Avoid Comparing Yourself to Others
As the holidays are often used to reflect on the year gone by, it’s all too easy to slip into a toxic cycle of comparing yourself unfavorably to others.
"If you're a single man you might feel a pressure to ‘get a partner’ by Christmas so you have someone to go the office party with," says Jo Emerson, a Confidence and Human Behavior expert, “but who says you need a partner to enjoy a party?"
The key is to approach the holidays in a way that suits you, not boring societal norms.
4. Steer Clear of Social Media as Much as Possible
We all know that people tend to present idealized versions of themselves on social media. As you might’ve guessed, this just intensifies during the holiday season when people want to show the world just how much fun they’re having.
"Because our brains are wired to constantly make comparisons between ourselves and others, posts we see of others sharing their 'perfect' Christmas – their presents, social outings and the rest – can make us feel far more anxious that we're not living our lives to the same level," explains Duddy.
He also warns against using social media as a crutch during occasions where you're anxious about speaking to people face-to-face, noting that "habitually 'checking' your phone can increase anxiety because our brains become programmed to believe something might be wrong if we don’t get on Instagram right away."
5. There Are No Rules as to How You Should Spend the Holiday
“If you don’t like sitting around all day, go on a massive hike and pack a turkey sandwich for your lunch,” advises Emerson. She also points out that in 2019, there's no such thing as a "normal" way to spend Christmas Day itself.
"I have other friends with no children who spend the day in their pajamas sipping port, eating cheese and binge-watching movies," she says. "And I have another friend who's single who volunteers at the local homeless shelter – she spends her day peeling potatoes and washing up."
6. Make Yourself an Anti-Holiday Playlist
You’re going to hear “Santa Baby” and “All I Want for Christmas Is You” at every party, bar and market from now until December 25. Break up the monotony by making your own playlist of the most defiant and unseasonal songs to play in your downtime.
6. Don’t Worry About Being Called a “Scrooge”
Duddy acknowledges that "there's a danger that if people don’t think you're being 'festive enough,' you’re going to get called a 'Scrooge.'”
This in turn can heighten your anxiety, but one solution is to make a joke out of your Scrooge-like behavior. After all, so many people get a little carried away during the holidays that it might be refreshing for your friends and family to hang with someone who’s not that into it.
Vive la festive difference.
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Nick Levine, Khareem Sudlow
